


It's Always Been You

by LyricalPary



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluffiest of fluff with a bit of smut, Friends to Lovers, It was supposed to be mostly smut but I'm not sure what happened, M/M, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1953264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalPary/pseuds/LyricalPary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael climbs into Calum's bed sometimes, and although it has definitely become a habit, it's not necessarily a bad one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [softirwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/gifts).



> This is basically sugary sweet malum fluff with some delicious smut at the end. I decided to test my skills and try writing something other than lashton, because malum is great and their friendship is magical, I'm surprised that there aren't more fics about them because there's so much material, to be honest. Anyway, this was inspired by [these](https://31.media.tumblr.com/a07a27828096f1c835c349a2ce8a56ac/tumblr_inline_n8oq9lYfRy1rnz6a6.jpg) [two](https://31.media.tumblr.com/6d057a2015df8f933379bb5d251f561a/tumblr_inline_n8v8laa4j31rnz6a6.png) pictures, because they're the cutest things in the entire universe, okay.
> 
>   
>  **I do not give anyone permission to upload this work anywhere else.**   
> 

* * *

 

Calum has been sharing a bed with Michael Clifford for as long as he can remember.

No matter how much he complains about it, he doesn’t actually mind it, though. In fact, he doesn’t mind it a single bit and never has. Sharing a bed is great because it usually involves cuddling, and Calum likes cuddles. Cuddles are relaxing and they make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he’s been known to give the best cuddles in the whole band. Anyone who objects is a liar, a liar who wishes that their cuddles were just as superior.

Don’t believe him? Just ask Michael, he’s been addicted to Calum’s cuddles ever since they were eight years old.

Back in primary school, Calum had been wary of the strange boy that liked to color on himself. Michael was loud, persistent, and always had to choose the game that they were going to play during recess. They weren’t exactly opposites, because Calum was quite energetic and liked playing with the other kids, too, even though he was a little quieter than most. He just didn’t like being bossed around, and Michael Clifford was kind of a bossy kid, back then.

So, Calum stayed away from him. He stayed away until he couldn’t anymore, because Michael had been assigned as his arts and crafts buddy one day and they had to draw a picture together. At first, Calum had sat there with a pout on his face because he knew that this wouldn’t work out. His teacher was a big stupidhead for thinking that this could possibly work at all. And no, Calum wasn’t afraid to say the word ‘stupidhead’, even though it was a bad word and he could get into trouble. He was angry and he had a right to be so.

“Look, I made a dragon!” Michael tells him, repeatedly patting him on the shoulder to get his attention.

Calum starts to get even more annoyed but when he looks at the paper, he has to admit to himself that he’s a little impressed. The so-called dragon that Michael drew was in at _least_ five different colors, but it actually looked really neat except for one small detail.

“Why is the dragon’s fire green? Dragons don’t blow out green fire,” Calum says, because _everyone_ knows that fire is red. Not green.

“Green is my favorite color, though,” Michael answers with a shrug, but Calum knows that he changes his ‘favorite’ color at least twice a week. He announces it to the entire class every time that he does. “Besides, green fire is _way_ cooler than red fire because, like, it’s not super-duper hot so you can touch it.”

“You can’t touch fire!” Calum exclaims with wide eyes, because touching fire is an absolute no-no. Every kid learns that by the time they’re, like, five—so what Michael is saying is total bullshit.

“Yuh-huh! I’ve done it before,” Michael insists.

“You’re a liar!” Calum argues.

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“I’m going to tell the teacher that you keep saying lies,” Calum says, and it’s such a dirty tactic, but he’s willing to go to such lengths to take down Michael Clifford once and for all.

“If you tell on me then I’m going to tell on you for not helping with the picture!” Michael retorts. There’s something rather evil about the way that he grins at Calum afterwards, because yeah, he was definitely going to play dirty, too.

Well, Calum doesn’t have to put up with this. Just to prove that he was actually helping and not sitting there the entire time, he grabs the red marker from the middle of the table and starts to scribble all over the dragon picture, eliciting a terrified shriek from Michael.

“Stop it! You’re ruining it!” Michael cries, trying to push away Calum’s hands. When that doesn’t work, he grabs the black marker and tears off the cap, then proceeds to scribble on the side of Calum’s face to get him to stop.

Five seconds later, they’re scribbling all over each other. Ten seconds after that, they get in trouble and have to stay inside after lunch when everyone else is playing, and the teacher threatens to call their parents if they even so much as touch another marker for the remainder of the day. Calum sits there with a sad frown on his face because he’s never gotten into _this_ much trouble before so he’s a little scared, but that changes when he notices Michael sliding an oreo cookie over to him, an apologetic smile on his face.

It’s very suspicious and Calum shouldn’t trust him, but an oreo cookie is an oreo cookie so he takes it, anyway. Feeling particularly kind in this moment and not wanting to owe any favors, he gives Michael the spare juice box that he had been saving for after school. Calum hadn’t known it right then, but this ‘truce’ of theirs is basically the moment that they became friends.

***

The first time that Michael sleeps over his house is the first time that they share a bed.

Calum has spent the last few hours entertaining the most hyperactive kid that he’s ever met, but it’s fine because they have a ton of fun that evening. To be honest, Calum had been looking forward to Michael sleeping over his house for quite some time now. He remembers begging and begging for his mother to meet Michael’s mother so that the arrangements could be made, and sure they’ve only been friends for a few weeks, but it feels like much longer. So that evening when Michael had shown up on his doorstep, Calum had become the world’s happiest little squirrel.

Now, after exerting all of their energy into playing games together and being your typical loud eight-year-olds, it’s bedtime and Calum is exhausted. Michael is sleeping on the floor right below him inside of a Spiderman sleeping bag, which Calum thinks is pretty cool. Spiderman is Michael’s favorite superhero, so he’s wearing Spiderman pajamas and even his pillow case has Spiderman on it. Once again, Calum thinks it’s pretty cool.

He’s almost fallen asleep when he feels something tugging at the covers on his bed, and when the mattress begins to dip, Calum opens his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asks in his sleepy little voice, upon seeing Michael climbing into his bed. Michael doesn’t actually answer him until he has climbed over his body and is now situated between Calum and the wall.

“I wanna sleep in your bed,” Michael whispers, pulling the covers up to his tiny shoulder.

Calum frowns a little. “You have your sleeping bag, though. Why don’t you sleep in that?”

It takes Michael a few more seconds to answer. “I don’t wanna sleep on the floor, it’s not as comfy. Besides, you’ve got goblins underneath your bed and I don’t wanna bother them.”

That poor explanation makes Calum frown even more. “What the heck is a goblin?” he asks.

“It’s a type of monster.”

Oh. That makes a bit more sense.

“Well, I don’t have monsters under my bed,” Calum states matter-of-factly. “Monsters aren’t real and I stopped having them under my bed when I turned six, I think. So you’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong,” Michael argues. “I’m gonna be nine before you so that makes me older, and since I’m older then that makes me right. There’s goblins under your bed and they’re going to eat you soon enough.”

“No, they’re not!” Calum yells, but he quickly covers his mouth so that his parents won’t come in the room to investigate. “Why do you always have to make stuff up? No one likes liars, my mum said so,” he whispers.

Michael squirms a little, completely silent again. The little nightlight that’s plugged into Calum’s wall allows him to still be able to see the other boy, though. For the first time he notices that Michael’s pretty green eyes are wide, and his breathing is a bit on the abnormal side.

“What’s wrong?” Calum asks, because he can tell that something isn’t right. “Are you scared or somethin’?”

It surprises him when Michael gives a shaky nod, despite the latter question being a joke. However, he can tell that his friend really is upset after all, though he’s not sure why.

“Are you afraid of the goblins? ‘Cause I can tell my dad and he’ll come and check under the bed for you, then they’ll go away. Do you want that?”

Michael simply shakes his head. “’M not scared of no goblins…”

“So what’s the matter, then?”

Michael fidgets some more, taking a while to answer. Calum does his best not to get annoyed or become impatient like he usually does, instead choosing to wait for his friend to open up to him and tell him what the problem is.

“It’s just… I’ve never slept over anyone’s house before,” Michael finally whispers.

It takes a few more seconds after that, but Calum finally comprehends what he’s getting at.

“So… you’re scared ‘cause you’ve never slept in a room that isn’t your own?”

“Mhmm…”

Calum lets out a small sigh. “Well why didn’t you just say so? I would’ve let you sleep in my bed from the start.”

Michael doesn’t look so convinced. “You would’ve made fun of me,” he mumbles.

“Am I making fun of you right now?”

Michael slowly shakes his head again.

“See, then it’s fine.” Now that that’s taken care of, Calum scoots a bit closer to his friend and drapes an arm over his tiny waist so that they’re kind of cuddling now. “Better?” he asks.

A small smile spreads on the other boy’s face and he nods, eagerly accepting the cuddle.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, sounding much calmer than before.

“Uh-huh… just keep bringing oreo cookies to school and we’re good,” Calum murmurs back, and it doesn’t take long for either of them to drift off to sleep.

***

They’re ten years old and practically inseparable.

Calum and Michael probably sleep over each other’s houses at least once a week, and every single time, they share a bed. It’s basically the norm for them so neither has to ask the other, they simply do it. It’s nice because Calum doesn’t have a brother and Michael lacks any siblings whatsoever, so when they’re lying in bed together they can pretend like they’re actually related to one another. Most of these nights are spent whispering to each other until one of them falls asleep, the other quickly following suit.

Tonight is different, though, because Michael hasn’t said a word. Usually he’s so talkative that Calum has to ask him to shut up so he can sleep, so it’s a bit worrisome to see how silent he is. In fact, he’s been rather quiet the entire day, hardly speaking a word to anyone at school. Calum asked him more than once if anything was wrong, but Michael simply shakes his head every time. Then, just as they were about to go home for the day, Michael asked if he could sleep over at Calum’s house that night. Naturally, Calum said yes.

“Mikey?” Calum’s soft tone almost sounds loud in the dead silence of the room. “How come you’re not saying anything?”

Suddenly, Michael turns over and faces him, a rather gloomy expression on his face as he mumbles, “Don’t feel like talking.”

Calum isn’t buying that. “You _look_ like you wanna talk, though.”

As usual, Michael remains stubborn even though he obviously wants to say something, and during these times, Calum either has to guess what’s wrong or pretend not to care in order for Michael to finally speak up. He doesn’t know why the other boy just doesn’t come right out and say it, but he’s gotten used to the way that Michael is.

“Fine, whatever,” Calum grumbles.

“My parents had a fight last night.”

Well that worked faster than usual. Calum doesn’t know what he expected Michael to say, but that definitely hadn’t been it. He still makes sure to pay attention and be there for his friend so that he can cheer him up, though.

“What do you mean they had a fight?” he asks quietly.

“Y’know, like… yelling and stuff? They argued about something, I don’t know what, but today I think they were still mad at each other and I don’t know how to make it better…”

Calum feels conflicted because he isn’t sure what to say about that. His own parents hardly ever fought, and when they were angry with each other, it usually lasted about an hour or so before they were laughing again. He can tell that his friend is legitimately upset, though, so he tries to think up something to say to cheer him up.

“What if they don’t love each other anymore, Cal?” Michael says all of a sudden, sounding a little panicked. “What if they get a divorce or whatever it’s called, and then I have to live with one of them and can’t see the other anymore and… and then I move away! I move away and I can’t see _you_ anymore, either, and I can’t let that happen ‘cause we’re supposed to be best friends forever and—”

“Wait, wait, wait—you’re talking too fast!” Calum interrupts him. He spends a minute just trying to get Michael to calm down, because the boy had somehow managed to convince himself that he was probably moving to Germany next weekend, despite the fact that that is completely random and illogical; he most likely doesn’t even know where Germany is on the map.

“I don’t think any of that will happen, Mikey, so you don’t have to worry… everything’s gonna be okay, you’ll see.” Just to provide a bit more reassurance, Calum gently pets his hair in hopes of soothing him further.

“But… but how do you know _for sure_?” Michael asks, and he exhales a long sigh afterwards as he begins to relax. The gentle petting must be working rather well, then.

“I dunno,” Calum admits, “but maybe it was just a normal fight? Grown-ups fight sometimes, you know, but they can fix things by themselves so you don’t have to worry so much, okay?”

Michael makes a small whining noise but doesn’t argue any further, probably too relaxed from having his hair played with. That always seems to calm him and in these moments he kind of reminds Calum of a kitten, except better because kittens couldn’t talk or play Power Rangers with him like Michael can.

“Also,” he starts, pausing to yawn, “if you ever _do_ move away someday… we can still be best friends.”

“How?” Michael asks, barely above a whisper because he’s quickly falling asleep.

“Well, like… we can send each other letters and talk on the phone and stuff. But, if you do send me a letter then you should probably work on your spelling, first,” Calum teases.

“Shut up, my spelling is a billion times better than yours,” Michael grumbles.

“Can you even spell the word ‘billion’?”

Calum totally should’ve expected the hard poke in the stomach that he receives, but he thinks that the few seconds of discomfort is better than seeing his best friend close to tears.

Yeah, anything is better than that.

***

Calum is twelve and Michael just turned thirteen.

Despite this, they haven’t actually matured at all. As a matter of fact, they’re probably three times as mischievous as when they were loud eight-year-old boys who got excited over everything. These days whenever they’re together, one could bet that they were definitely up to no good. However, it’s usually harmless nonsense and nothing too dangerous because they’re actually a couple of dorks. Yeah, that’s exactly what they are, a couple of dorks that have just discovered the wonders of rock bands and pretty girls.

As per usual, they’re lying in Calum’s bed and listening to Blink-182 instead of sleeping, even though they have a ton of shitty tests and schoolwork due soon because it’s the end of the year. Regardless, they couldn’t give less of a fuck because none of it _really_ matters and they’re going to get out of this shitty town, someday. That’s right, they’re going through _that_ phase at the moment. But, at least they’re going through it together so that makes a little more bearable.

Calum isn’t sure how they get to the particular topic, but somehow they’re talking about kissing and people that they can only dream of kissing, when Michael lets a certain unknown fact slip out.

“What the hell do you mean you haven’t kissed anyone?” Calum asks, shocked but also kind of appalled.

“I mean exactly that. I’ve never kissed anyone,” Michael says, shrugging. He’s definitely trying to pretend that it’s no big deal to him, but it’s so obvious that he looks embarrassed and even a bit nervous, for some reason.

“Seriously?” Calum continues to prod. “Like, no one at all? Not even accidentally?”

“No, Cal, I haven’t kissed anyone!” he exclaims, and even in the dim moonlight Calum can see the deep blush on his cheeks.

“Wow,” Calum mutters. But, he probably should’ve already known this fact. If Michael had kissed someone before, he would’ve come bragging to Calum and then proceeded to not shut up about for two weeks straight, so really, Calum should’ve known.

In all honesty, it’s a little strange. Calum is sure that Michael has more luck with the girls, which doesn’t even make any sense but it’s true. He’s a total dork, but maybe girls liked that about him or something, because he always seems to be able to talk and hang out with them whereas the only girl who gives a lot of attention to Calum is his sister. Still, even Calum managed to get some lip action a couple of times, so surely Michael should’ve by now, too.

“So… so does that make you a kissing virgin?”

Michael kicks him in the shin, and Calum probably deserved that but he still claims that it was totally uncalled for.

“So who the hell have _you_ kissed, anyway?” Michael asks. “And don’t even try to lie, ‘cause I’ll know if you do.”

Calum snorts. “I don’t need to lie, because I actually _have_ kissed people before.”

“Oh, yeah? Like who?”

“Marissa.”

Michael seems to falter a little. “From science class…?”

“Yup,” Calum answers proudly. And, why not? Marissa might not be considered one of the popular girls that everyone wanted to kiss, but she was really cute and a little shy and she thought Calum was cute, too. Obviously, Calum wasn’t going to pass up that chance.

“Really?” Michael asks, and Calum finds it a little offensive that he doesn’t seem to believe him.

“Yeah, really.”

Michael doesn’t say anything more, and so many seconds pass by that Calum wonders if he’s fallen asleep.

“Why did you kiss her?” Michael mutters all of a sudden, startling him.

“Um… because she wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss her? That’s usually how the whole kissing thing works.”

“I know how it works, idiot,” Michael grumbles.

He seems irritated now, but Calum just assumes that he’s feeling a little jealous since he hasn’t kissed anyone, yet. Yeah, that’s probably it, and Calum likes to think of himself as a good friend so he won’t rub it in Michael’s face or continue to talk about it, if it upsets him.

Surprisingly, Michael is the one who won’t let the conversation drop.

“What did it feel like?” he then asks, sounding legitimately curious but still a little irritated.

Calum doesn’t get him, sometimes.

“It felt… good? Yeah, it was good,” he attempts to explain. “Her lips were pretty soft, I liked them. It was a soft and warm kiss, nothing slimy and gross like you see on the TV sometimes.”

It’s completely silent again for a few seconds, but then Michael whispers, “Can you show me?”

Calum pauses, not really sure what to say. How in the world do you _show_ someone how you kissed another person? It’s not as if he videotaped the moment, because that definitely would have been weird. So he’s not really sure what Michael is getting at, until another moment has gone by and he finally starts to understand.

“…Wait, you want me to… _kiss_ you?” he asks, because that’s exactly what it seems like Michael is implying, but he could be wrong. After all, why the hell would Michael want to kiss _him_ , of all people? That possibility makes even less sense than Michael’s apparent fascination with the fact that Calum kissed Marissa.

However, when Michael nods at the question and Calum sees the seriousness in his eyes, a cold rush of nervousness travels down his spine because this is definitely weird. Best friends don’t usually kiss each other on the lips, right? Yet, Michael wants him to do just that and Calum doesn’t understand why.

“But… isn’t your first kiss supposed to be with the person that you like or something?”

Michael gives a nonchalant shrug as if he doesn’t care that much, but he’s fiddling nervously with the bed sheets and he won’t actually meet Calum’s eyes. “I like you most of the time, so why not?”

Well, it’s reassuring to know that his best friend likes him _most_ of the time. Calum would make a sassy remark at that, but he still feels nervous and unsure of whether they should actually be doing this or not. On the other hand, though… kissing feels really good and he wants to do it again. Like, as soon as possible. If he does it with Michael then it wouldn’t be so scary, because they’re best friends and he won’t have to worry about whether or not Michael still likes him afterwards. Calum knows that sometimes people kiss and then decide that they don’t like each other, but he and Michael will always like each other so, yeah—why not?

“Are you sure…?” he asks, just in case Michael had only suggested this because he was jealous before. And, there’s also the possibility that he had been joking the entire time and doesn’t _actually_ want to kiss Calum, because he’s a little shit that takes things too far sometimes.

But, Michael simply nods again. “’M sure, yeah.”

“Oh… okay, then.”

Calum presses pause on the iPod between them—although they had long since stopped paying attention to the music—and removes the earbud from his ear, then reaches over and removes the one from Michael’s ear, too. Michael doesn’t move or say anything at all, just patiently waits for Calum to kiss him already.

So, Calum does just that. He leans closer until there isn’t any space left between them and gently connects their lips. He only keeps them there for a few short seconds before he pulls back a little, wondering if that’s good enough.

Michael’s eyes flutter open and he simply stares back into Calum’s at first, not saying anything until he asks, “Is that how you kissed Marissa?”

Calum shrugs. “Kind of.”

“Kiss me like you kissed her,” Michael demands.

Before he knows it, Michael is eagerly kissing him again. Maybe a little too eagerly, because Calum is forced to bring a hand up and cup his jaw, urging him to slow down a bit. Michael does, and then it’s smooth sailing from that point on as they slowly kiss each other.

Calum thinks that Michael’s lips are even warmer than Marissa’s had been, although Michael’s are just a little chapped. He likes them anyway, because they feel good sliding against his own and they have a really nice shape, too. He also thinks it’s kind of cute how Michael has a hand fisted in the front of his shirt, still so enthusiastic and maybe even a little overwhelmed by the soft kissing; and at one point, Calum is _positive_ that he hears a small whine coming from the boy in front of him.

When they finally break the kiss, both of them are breathing heavily with deep blushes on their cheeks. Calum definitely hadn’t kissed Marissa like _that_ , but Michael doesn’t need to know that little detail. Right now, he wonders if kissing his best friend can become a normal thing or not, because that had been a lot of fun and it felt even better than he imagined it would.

For now, Michael smiles and exhales a satisfied sigh. “That was nice,” is all that he says, before turning over and facing the wall. He falls asleep shortly afterwards, while Calum lies in the dark and wonders why his heart is still beating so fast.

They never actually discuss the kiss or anything that happened that night.

***

They’re fifteen now and things have started to change a little. The amount of friends that they each have is steadily increasing, but even when they’re hanging out with other people, they both know that they’re still each other’s _best_ friend—as in, no one is more important to Calum than Michael is, and vice versa. They know that and they’ve always known that, yet…

Michael is pissed off at Calum and Calum is a little annoyed with Michael. The funny thing is, despite being angry, Michael _still_ insists on coming over to Calum’s house and climbing into his bed. What kind of logic is that? Calum doesn’t know, but Michael is pissed off and facing the wall so that he won’t need to look at Calum’s ‘stupid face’. He had actually said that, like some sort of five-year-old throwing a tantrum.

Because this whole thing is getting really old, Calum decides to be the mature one and bring up the subject that needs to be discussed.

“Mikey?” he says, and it’s a good start because even though Michael denies it, he’s totally weak for nicknames. “Are you awake?”

Calum already knows that the other boy is definitely still awake, because they’ve been sleeping together for about seven years now; he’d probably even be able to tell if Michael was having a good dream or a nightmare, based on his breathing patterns. That must sound really strange, but when it comes to their friendship, things like that were completely normal.

“I’m sleeping, leave me alone,” Michael grumbles. But, the fact that he answered at all means that he’s probably fed up with giving Calum the silent treatment—he probably also misses talking to him, too.

Of course he’s going to be stubborn about it, though.

“Are you seriously still pissed at me? I already said that I was sorry,” Calum mutters. He would prefer it if they had this conversation while facing each other, so he pokes Michael in the back until he gets his wish.

When Michael finally turns over, he’s wearing a frown but he doesn’t even look angry. In fact, he just looks like a sad kitten that’s just been abandoned and it makes Calum feel bad—which is absurd, because he knows that he shouldn’t feel bad at all. Michael is simply overreacting.

“I can’t believe you would do that to me,” Michael says, and he looks like he’s about to go on a rant, so Calum lets him. “You _know_ how I feel about him, and yet you continued to talk to him anyway! And, you know, _maybe_ I wouldn’t mind that so much if you hadn’t gone and ditched me to be with him—and I bet he doesn’t even know what your favorite color is.”

The last statement confuses Calum. “…What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has to do with _everything_!” Michael exclaims. “I thought that _we_ were best friends. Me and you. Michael and Calum. Not… not _Hemmings_ and Calum. That doesn’t even sound cool—in fact, it fucking sucks.”

Michael goes back to pouting like a grumpy little kitten, so apparently it’s Calum's turn to speak now; in truth, Calum already has a headache from the sheer ridiculousness of this whole situation.

So he begins with a sigh. “First of all, his name is Luke and all we did was play soccer together—”

“ _Twice_ ,” Michael adds.

Calum puts a finger to his lips. “Shut up, it’s my turn. Luke and I played soccer together, yeah, but so what? I asked if you wanted to join, but you said no and then went home to play video games. So, no, I _didn’t_ ditch you. Second of all, I get that you hate him but maybe if you at least gave him a chance, you’d see that he’s a really cool guy.”

Michael shakes his head, frowning sadly. “I can’t believe you’re taking his side…”

“Oh my god, I’m not taking _anyone’s_ side!” Calum groans, frustrated. “I mean, I did before, but I’m not doing it anymore... I’m tired of it, Mikey. I’m tired of being in the middle of this immature rivalry between you and Luke, so I told him that, just in case he thought I was ‘taking his side’, too. But, guess what? He said that he doesn’t even hate you anymore, nor does he remember why he did in the first place. So can’t you let it go, too?”

Michael remains silent for a really long time, and although Calum has had enough of his bullshit, he starts to wonder if maybe he should have been nicer about it or worded it differently. He understands that it must hurt to see your best friend hanging out with someone that you can’t stand, but it’s not as if Calum is spending time with Luke and talking about Michael behind his back. Calum would never do such a thing because Michael is his best friend and he loves him, but Luke isn’t the evil demon that Michael makes him out to be, either.

After what seems like years, Michael finally mumbles, “I just feel like… sometimes I feel like you prefer being with him over me. I mean, I wouldn’t blame you, because he’s probably nicer and more fun to be around, but…” he pauses, letting out a long sigh. “You’re my best friend, Cal, and no one else is willing to put up with me like you are. What the hell am I supposed to do if I don’t have you anymore? I don’t… want that to ever happen.”

Honestly? That’s just about the dumbest thing that Calum has ever heard in his entire life. He doesn’t say that, though, because he can see that Michael _actually_ believes that something like that is bound to happen someday. It’s ridiculously silly, so Calum lets out another sigh and his expression softens, then he makes sure that Michael is looking him in the eye before he speaks.

“You’re an idiot, Michael Clifford.”

Having not expected that, Michael frowns; and yeah, it’s obviously meant to be endearing, but Calum doesn’t sugarcoat things and he isn’t going to start now. He’s going to be real about this, like he always is.

“You’re an idiot,” he repeats with a fond smile. “But you’re also my best friend, and I could never replace you with anyone because there isn’t anyone else like you, so you can get that stupid thought out of your head. And just because I like doing things with Luke—or anyone else, for that matter—doesn’t mean that I prefer them over you. I mean, who’s the one that always makes me laugh until I nearly piss myself?”

When Michael realizes that it’s an actual question and not a rhetorical one, he mutters, “Me.”

“Exactly. And who stayed home with me in Year Six when I had the flu, instead of going on that field trip to the science museum?”

“Me… but, only because I didn’t want—”

Calum puts his finger to Michael’s lips again to shut him up. “That’s right, you did. It’s always been you, no matter what. So don’t ever think for a single second that someday it _won’t_ be you, okay?”

Michael nods.

“Good. Also, I want you to at least _try_ and talk to Luke—don’t give me that look, I’m being serious. Talk to him so that we can all forget about this mess and move on. If you won’t do it for yourself then at least do it for me, please?”

Michael seems to be weighing his options as he chews on his bottom lip, a stubborn frown still on his face. After a long pause, he lets out exasperated sigh and nods again.

“Fine,” he grumbles, giving in. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow… but you’re buying me ice cream after school. Think of it as your official apology to me, for going to play soccer instead of coming over to my house when you said that you would.”

Stubborn as always.

Calum agrees to those terms, nonetheless. “Okay. Maybe the three of us can get ice cream together, if all goes well.”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Michael mutters for emphasis, but it sounds like a promise.

The pout on his face doesn’t go away just yet, and Calum laughs a little when he realizes what Michael is waiting for.

“Would you like to cuddle, Mikey?”

“If you insist,” Michael answers, already nuzzling into the crook of Calum’s neck. “Can you… can you do that thing that you always do?”

Calum chuckles again. “Alright, sure.”

He gently caresses the blond fringe until Michael has fallen fast asleep, his breathing slowed to where it usually is when he’s unconscious. It takes Calum a little while longer to join him in the land of unconsciousness, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind because his best friend isn’t angry with him anymore, and he knows that tomorrow will be a good day.

He truly believes it.

***

Calum is exhausted, Michael won’t stop talking, and both of them are excited to be leaving for the UK tomorrow morning.

So many things have happened in the past year, and none of it would have occurred at all if he and Michael had never befriended Luke so long ago, and if Ashton hadn’t agreed to join the band.

That’s right, they’ve been a _real_ band for about a year now, and tomorrow they’ll catch a flight to London to do some songwriting there. It’s terrifying and exciting at the same time, but they’ll get through it together because they always do. That’s what it means to be a part of a band, and this journey of theirs is really going to change things for the better.

However, none of that is going to happen if Calum ends up smothering Michael with his pillow, first.

“Oh my god,” Michael suddenly gasps, “what if we get there and no one understands us? How will we be able to get around? What if we get _lost_ or something and then have to resort to cannibalism ‘cause we run outta money?!”

Calum groans loudly into the pillow. “London is in England. Believe or not, a lot of people in _England_ speak _English_ as a native language. Now can you stop panicking and let me go to sleep? I spent the entire day packing, I’m exhausted.”

Michael seems to ignore most of that. “Fuck, I’m just so excited! I don’t know how I’m going to fall asleep, to be honest. Aren’t you excited, too? I’ve never left Australia before, but now I can say that I finally have, starting tomorrow. What are you most excited to see in England?”

Calum hums in thought, deciding that resisting is futile so he may as well answer the question.

“English girls,” he answers with a smirk, because it’s mostly true.

Michael rolls his eyes. “Okay, that’s pretty obvious—but besides that. What do you wanna see? Where do you wanna go? I wonder if it rains as much as people say that it does. What do you think, Calum?”

“I don’t know,” Calum murmurs, yawning. “Ask me in the morning, yeah?”

“You suck. I’m getting a new best friend as soon as we land in London.”

“And when they don’t let you climb into their bed at night, you’ll come crawling back to me and begging for cuddles.”

“Or maybe I’ll just go to Luke. You never know.”

Calum snorts. “Yeah, right. You know that my cuddles are the greatest cuddles in this band, so you’d be downgrading.”

“True,” Michael sighs, and he seems much calmer now so perhaps Calum can finally get some rest.

The comfortable silence lasts for all of ten seconds.

“I also feel a bit scared, though,” Michael whispers. “I mean, I’m mostly excited but still scared… are you scared at all, Cal?”

“…A little, yeah,” Calum admits. “But, it’s going to be fine, you know? We have the chance to write with a lot of cool people, so this really is the opportunity of a lifetime. I am gonna miss it here, though. That’s for sure.”

Michael hums in agreement. “Me too. But, at least you guys will still be with me. Knowing that I get to do all of this cool shit with you, Luke, and Ashton, makes everything seem a little less scary, ‘cause I know that you’ll always be there no matter what.”

The mattress suddenly shifts a little and when Calum opens his eyes again, he finds the other boy leaning over him with a bright smile.

“You will be there for me, right Calum? Just like always?”

“Of course,” Calum replies, smiling back at him. “Friends forever, remember? Besides, I’ve put up with you for this long already, so I might as well stick around and be a part of all the other crazy shit that you get yourself into.”

Michael chuckles. “You really mean it?”

“I do.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Satisfied with that answer, Michael leans down and softly kisses his lips.

Michael does that sometimes. It doesn’t happen that often and only ever occurs in the darkness of Calum’s bedroom, when the two of them are lying together and the rest of the world is asleep; but it happens, and one night Calum decided not to question it anymore. He doesn’t actually mind that Michael kisses him sometimes, because kisses are nice and they’ve been best friends for ages, not to mention the entire band has seen each other naked multiple times by now. So, a chaste kiss every now and then is okay.

Everything is okay.

“Night, Calum,” Michael murmurs when he pulls away. He lies back down and snuggles into Calum’s side like he usually does, and only actually falls asleep once there’s a hand gently playing in his hair.

Calum wonders if they really will be together forever.

He sincerely hopes so.

***

Calum is eighteen and he finds it difficult to fall asleep in an actual bed.

He can drift off to the sleep in just about every other location: the car, the airport, in the plane, on the couch, in a random chair—anywhere. However, when it comes to actually falling asleep where he’s _supposed_ to fall asleep, it’s a bit of a challenge.

Unless Michael is in the bed with him, that is.

As of right now, Michael isn’t in bed with him and that’s fine, Calum can sleep alone. He’s _eighteen_ , for god’s sake, not eight. He’s eighteen and his band is rapidly growing more famous, day by day. Their first album literally just came out around most of the world, so he’s extremely happy and proud of himself and his bandmates. He should definitely be satisfied with his life at the moment, and he really is…

But, they hardly ever get a break, he’s exhausted, and he _can’t sleep_. This is absolute blasphemy. He should probably go to the doctor one of these days to see what’s wrong with him, because he should be able to fall asleep on a comfortable mattress in the blink of an eye, given how tired he usually is at the end of every day. So, the only explanation is that something is wrong with him.

After tossing and turning for yet another ten minutes, a sudden knock at the door alarms him. He doesn’t need to say anything because he already knows who it is, and _they_ know that he knows, so they don’t wait for an answer. Calum looks up to see Michael closing the door behind him and watches as he begins to make his way over to the bed.

“You’re late,” Calum teases, but he’s filled with so much relief when Michael pulls back the covers and climbs in beside him.

“Sorry, traffic was _terrible_ ,” Michael jokes, smirking.

Calum adores that stupid smirk.

They haven’t shared a bed in a little while, and compared to how often they slept together in their early childhood, they don’t sleep together nearly as much. Sometimes Calum misses the way that things used to be, but life isn’t as simple anymore. They’ve grown up and they have a long road ahead of them, where their careers are concerned. They’re living their dreams, though, and it may not be fun and games all the time, but at least they still have each other.

Michael suddenly pokes him on the nose. “Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi,” Calum whispers back.

“Luke and Ashton are at it again.”

“…Thanks for the info,” Calum sighs, rolling his eyes.

Yeah, they still have each other, and now Luke and Ashton have each other in more ways than one. Somewhere along the way, they fell in love and Calum has to admit that they’re cute as fuck. At night, however, they sometimes fuck like barbarians. At least, that’s what it usually sounds like.

“If I have to suffer then you have to suffer, too,” Michael says. “I got tired of listening to them, so I figured I’d come down to your room and sleep here instead.”

It’s a good reason, but they never used to need a reason to sleep together at all. They just did it. Calum misses that, too.

“Well, the only alternative would be to wear earphones and listen to loud music, hopefully loud enough to drown out Luke’s high-pitched screams of ‘daddy’ and whatever else those kinky bastards like.”

Michael gives the proposition some thought, but then he shakes his head. “Nah, I have a better idea.”

“Oh? I’m listening.”

“We should pretend to fuck and make loud, obnoxious noises so that they can see how it feels.”

Calum raises a brow at the bizarre suggestion. “And how’s that gonna work? They know that we don’t _actually_ fuck.”

Michael shrugs. “They’ll believe it once they hear this.” He then proceeds to make said loud, obnoxious moaning sounds in order to demonstrate what he means.

Problem is, they don’t sound ‘obnoxious’ to Calum’s ears. In fact, those moans sound a little _too_ real so he makes Michael stop because he could feel himself getting hard just from that. And, yeah, that’s pretty fucking embarrassing.

“…You sound like an amateur pornstar,” Calum teases, although it’s totally a lie. “Way too fake.”

“You’re right,” Michael says, nodding. “We’ll just have to actually fuck, then.”

Calum glares at him warily. “Trying to get into my pants, Clifford?”

“Is it working?”

“Nope.”

“Damn,” Michael curses, pretending to look distraught.

Calum just laughs and shakes his head. Michael often jokes like that, so it’s nothing new. In fact, they all used to pretend to be married to one another and even discussed a ‘band marriage’ at one point. Then Luke and Ashton _actually_ got together and although the silly jokes haven’t stopped, both of them obviously get jealous when it comes to such things. Calum has been in the middle of said jealousy a few times and he doesn’t like it one bit, so he keeps the flirtations to a minimum. Michael, on the other hand, continues to flirt with everyone—especially with Calum.

“Anyway, if we did have sex, I don’t think that it’s physically possible to be as loud as they are,” Calum says. “Like, even when they harmonize while singing, it seems to drown out everything else. It’s almost weird how well they fit together, actually.”

“Since you’re so passionate about how they sound together, you should go sit outside their bedroom door.”

“Fuck no. I’m not gonna purposely let myself be traumatized like that.”

Michael snorts but he definitely agrees with that answer. A comfortable silence falls over them and Calum thinks that he’ll actually be able to go to sleep, now. Everything feels so warm and comfy. And, even if he couldn’t feel the warmth radiating from Michael’s body so close to his, just knowing that Michael is beside him would probably be enough. He doesn’t know what it is about his best friend that makes it so much easier for him to fall asleep in an actual bed, but it works so he doesn’t question it. Questioning things might open up a complicated can of worms.

Michael’s question is the only thing that breaks the silence. “Would you ever actually hook up with me, though?”

Calum hums sleepily, but doesn’t open his eyes. “Define ‘hook up’.”

There’s a finger poking him in the ribcage. “You know what it means,” Michael grumbles, but he elaborates anyway. “Would you fuck me?”

Calum opens one eye now and finds Michael staring at him expectedly, waiting for an answer.

“Hmm… no,” he says, “I’d make sweet, passionate love to you, Michael Gordon Clifford—with scented candles and smooth jazz playing in the background. Maybe I’d even get Morgan Freeman to narrate our sweet lovemaking.”

Michael attempts to knee him in the crotch, but Calum successfully blocks the attack, laughing all the while. Michael is laughing, too, just like Calum knew that he would. So it’s okay.

“Right,” Michael huffs. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then.”

Calum hums again and answers a moment later with, “I never said that.”

“You never said ‘yes’, either.”

That’s true. He hadn’t said yes, but he also hadn’t said no. Calum gives it a bit more thought because he assumes that Michael wants a serious answer, since he keeps pushing the subject. In all honesty, Calum doesn’t need to think for long because he’s thought about this before. Maybe more than once.

“Yeah, I would,” he answers plainly, and he figures there’s nothing wrong with that. Sex is just sex, and contrary to popular belief, it isn’t easy to get some when people are constantly watching you or trying to use you for fame, and then spreading lies about you because they just want the attention. So, getting off with someone in the same situation as him would be much easier.

Also, Michael is really cute. Calum likes Michael.

Michael seems pleasantly surprised by that answer. “Really?”

“Sure.”

“Why?” he then asks.

“Well… why not?”

Michael sighs and shakes his head. “You can’t say that, that’s cheating. Saying ‘why not’ when someone asks you why is like… is like when a genie gives you wishes, and you just keep wishing for _more_ wishes.”

Calum snorts, amused. “How the hell is it _anything_ like that? That’s your shittiest analogy yet.”

“Just answer the question,” Michael grumbles.

“What question?” Calum asks, just to be a bit more difficult.

“Why would you fuck me, Calum?”

Out of context, that would be a really strange question. But, even in context, it’s still pretty weird. God, Michael is so annoyingly persistent sometimes, and Calum knows that he won’t stop asking until he gets an answer.

Thing is, they’ve had this conversation before. As a matter of fact, they’ve had similar conversations like this multiple times, throughout the time that they’ve spent together. They’d talk about the possibility of doing something more than just sharing a bed and kissing each other once in a while, but the conversation would end just as quickly as it began. Calum never took it seriously, because taking Michael too seriously always results in some sort of mishap.

So, yeah. This conversation would usually be dropped by now, so it’s a little weird that it hasn’t, yet.

“Let’s see…” Calum starts off, pausing briefly to come up with a way to answer the odd question. “If I had to choose between getting myself off and letting someone else do all the work for me, then yeah, I’d easily choose the latter.”

“That’s not what it means to fuck someone.”

“Also,” Calum continues, ignoring him. “I _guess_ I wouldn’t mind if you were that person, ‘cause we already know each other so there wouldn’t be that awkwardness that comes with trying to figure out what someone likes, and what they’re not okay with. And… you’re definitely cute enough, so that’s a bonus. I swear you have eyes like one of those anime characters you like so much—and your lips, god, they’re like… the perfect lips for giving blowjobs. I bet you’d be really good at sucking dick.”

Michael doesn’t say anything for a while and Calum wonders if his answer was that bland. He was only telling the truth, though, and Michael was the one who wouldn’t stop asking. So, if he doesn’t like the answer, he can kindly shove it up his ass.

“Basically, you only want me for my luscious lips,” Michael says at last.

“Not true. I’m sure you’d also be good with your hands,” Calum replies, and Michael laughs a little. “Your turn, now. Would you fuck me?”

Michael’s answer comes instantly. “Yeah…”

“Okay, why?”

“Because… because you’re just, like… I don’t know—you’re just really hot?”

Calum rolls his eyes, and really, he shouldn’t have had such high expectations for a good answer.

“Wow. It’s like you didn’t even try,” he teases. “Thanks, though. I know I’m pretty damn irresistible.”

“Your ego isn’t,” Michael retorts.

Calum merely shrugs. “Nothing wrong with being confident.”

The comfortable silence returns to them, this time for much longer. For some reason, Calum doesn’t feel as exhausted anymore so he doesn’t start to doze off, even though he feels like he should. Instead, he stares at the ceiling for a while and then turns his gaze to the boy lying next to him. Michael’s eyes are closed, but he’s still very much awake and his breathing has picked up a little. Whatever he’s feeling anxious about, he’ll let Calum know soon enough because he always does.

“What about right now?” Michael asks, barely audible even in the silence of the room.

“Hm…?”

“Sex,” he elaborates, just a little louder. “Would you have sex with me if I said that I wanted to do that with you… like, right now.”

That’s a little… unexpected. It’s quite unexpected, in fact, and Calum doesn’t know what to say but he knows that his heart is beating incredibly fast right now. His heart is beating fast because he can tell that Michael is being serious this time. It’s not a joke and it isn’t pure curiosity, either. He can tell because Michael’s voice wavered a little as he spoke, and his eyes are still tightly shut as if he’s afraid to see the look on Calum’s face.

Neither of them move for countless seconds.

“Alright.”

Michael’s eyes finally snap back open, going wider than ever when Calum utters that single word.

“Really…?” he whispers.

Calum swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat. “Yeah… really.”

And he means it, too. It’s a little crazy, but he’d be lying if he claimed that he hasn’t thought of doing certain things with Michael once or twice. Well, maybe a dozen times or more, but still. Sharing a bed with someone countless times was bound to put ideas into his hormonal teenage mind, even if that person is his best friend in the entire world and they’re the same gender as him. However, Calum already knows that he _sort of_ likes dick, but the dick in question now belongs to Michael, and… yeah, he’s thought about doing this before, but he never thought that they actually would.

He also wonders if they even _should_. They’re not like Luke and Ashton, who were attracted to each other from the very beginning and didn’t take too long in acting on those feelings. What he has with Michael is unlike anything else in the world. They love each other, they’ve always loved each other, and they always will. It’s true that they kiss sometimes, but they’ve never been sexually involved and knowing that Michael _wants_ to be is a little weird.

Calum doesn’t think that it’s a bad thing, though. Weird, yeah—but not bad at all.

“So… s-so you really want to? Like, for real?” Michael asks again, and he sounds excited.

Calum licks his dry lips and nods quickly. “Uh-huh.”

His insides flop around dramatically when Michael grins at him, and it gets even worse when he’s leaning closer to kiss Calum—and they’ve done _this_ before so his body shouldn’t be tingling, but it _is_ because he knows that they’re going to do more this time. Much more, probably.

Michael’s warm breath ghosts over his lips when they’re close enough and he closes his eyes, waiting for the contact. It’s overwhelming because for the first time, he realizes just how much he really fucking _wants_ this—he wants _Michael_. He wants to taste him and touch him in ways that he’s never done before, and it’s a little scary, but his desire overpowers the subtle fear.

Strangely enough, their lips still haven’t come together and when he opens his eyes, he sees Michael just sort of hovering above him, not doing anything. Although confused at first, Calum begins to jump to conclusions.

“You fuckin’ tease,” he scoffs. “You never really meant it, did you—”

Michael shuts him up by leaning down and smashing their lips together at last.

It’s a really nice kiss, much different than the ones that Michael has given him before. There’s nothing chaste about it at all, that’s for sure, and Calum likes it that way. Michael knows it, too, and that’s why he urges Calum to part his lips some more so that their tongues can meet. A shiver runs down his spine as Michael’s tongue swirls around his own, and he feels so unbearably hot already; he’d like to kick away the covers, take his boxers off, and then remove Michael’s clothes, too, but that would require breaking away from each other. Calum isn’t sure that he could handle that for more than two seconds at a time.

For now, he slides a hand up the inside of Michael’s shirt, letting his fingernails graze over the soft, pale skin and making the other boy shiver with anticipation. Eventually they have to break the kiss in order to breathe, but that’s okay because they stay connected, Michael’s forehead resting against his as they breathe in each other’s air.

“Fuck,” Michael mutters, still panting as he catches his breath. “I… I’ve wanted to do this with you for so fucking long, Cal…”

Calum half-smirks. “Yeah? How long?”

“Forever, probably?” Michael answers truthfully. “Yeah… since forever ago.”

Calum wonders what that means, but he doesn’t get a chance to ask because Michael is kissing again, just as fiercely as before. And that’s perfectly fine, questions could be asked later. All he wants in this moment is to get off with his best friend, even if that’s not something that usually occurs between best friends. They can discuss that later, too.

Right now, Calum would very much like to hear those sounds that Michael was making earlier—and who knows, maybe he sounds completely different when he’s actually being touched. Yeah, Calum needs to find out as soon as possible, so he switches their positions so that he’s the one leaning over Michael, now. Since Michael doesn’t utter a single complaint, he resumes the heated kiss and lets his hand trail down until he reaches his destination, grasping Michael’s dick through the fabric of his boxers. The contact certainly comes as a surprise, because Michael bites down on Calum’s bottom lip a little harder than necessary, making him hiss from the pain.

“Sorry,” Michael quickly mutters, and he gives the wounded lip a few kitty licks to make it feel better.

Calum huffs out a small laugh. “Don’t be… feels nice, actually. Do it again.”

Michael’s eyes widen a little. “And you claim that Luke and Ashton are the kinky ones—does this mean that you seriously like spankings, too?”

Shit.

No one was supposed to know about his pain kink and love for spankings. But, to be honest, they all have a basic idea of what each other likes because secrets are nearly impossible to keep in this godforsaken band.

Whatever.

Michael is talking while they’re supposed to be _kissing_ , so Calum squeezes his dick again and enjoys the loud whine that the action elicits. Just as he had guessed, it sounds much better than the fake moaning from before.

“Damn… you’re so hard already,” Calum murmurs, but only because it’s true.

“Do something about it, then,” Michael demands, although it sounds whiny and he looks as if he can hardly contain himself, at the moment.

Naturally, Calum decides to tease him a little more. “Say please.”

Michael gives him a death glare. “I will fucking bite you.”

“Mmm, kinky.”

Just before he gets his nose bitten off, Calum decides to stop being a tease and get straight back to business, so he slides a hand beneath the waistband of Michael’s boxers and firmly grips his dick again, starting with slow strokes. Even that little bit of stimulation is enough to excite Michael further, because he gasps and reaches up to fist a hand in Calum’s hair, pulling him down into another kiss. Calum never thought he’d get so much satisfaction just from having Michael squirm underneath him, but he does.

Calum keeps the movement of his hand at a slow, steady pace because he really doesn’t want to rush this. He prefers being rough and doing all sorts of other shit, too, but right now he’s too enamored with the expressions on Michael’s face and the realization that he’s never seen Michael come before. That’s basically the only side of his best friend that he hasn’t seen in his entire life, so it makes him even more excited to finally discover what Michael is really like when he’s being pleasured by someone else.

At one point, he has to stop so that he can pull the underwear further down since it was still in the way of his hand, but he only manages to get them down to Michael’s thighs before Michael whines and pulls him back in for another kiss. Calum has always known that Michael is clingy, but damn, he’d really like to take the time to explore Michael’s body at least a little bit, and that can’t be done if Michael spends the entire time trying to suck the life out of his lungs.

Well, Calum will just have to improvise, then.

He pulls back completely and doesn’t miss the look of confusion and hurt on Michael’s face, so he quickly explains, “You should be on top.”

Michael’s expression changes to one of curiosity, and then he nods with quite possibly the biggest grin on his face. It appears as if he really likes that idea, because he hastily shucks off the rest of his clothing and pushes Calum back down onto the mattress, already working on removing his boxers, too. The sheer eagerness that Michael continues to display is pretty amusing, so Calum allows him to strip him of his underwear and straddle his hips. It feels rather amazing to have Michael’s weight on top of him, and Calum brings his hands up to caress the other boy’s thighs.

To be honest, Michael’s legs are really underappreciated and Calum wonders why. They feel pretty damn good beneath the palms of his hands, and he might be a little biased but who gives a shit. When Michael isn’t being loud and silly and a total tease, he’s exceptionally warm and soft and _very_ cute, just like a kitten. Calum doesn’t like cats that much, but he likes Michael Clifford in some way that’s probably not normal—and once again, who gives a shit?

“What’re you staring at?” Michael questions, snapping Calum back from his thoughts. His tone is soft and curious and he’s looking at Calum in a manner that can’t be described, but Calum simply smiles up at him.

“You, ‘cause you’re beautiful,” he answers truthfully.

The unexpected compliment catches Michael off guard and he looks away, somehow blushing even harder than he already was before. Calum still catches the small smile on his lips, though, and he can’t help but wonder if this is actually happening right now, because it feels more like a cliché dream that he had had so long ago.

“Don’t do that,” Michael mumbles.

“Don’t do what?”

Michael looks down at him again. “Say weird shit like that while I’m literally on top of you, naked, and we’re about to get each other off.”

And, really, how can Calum _not_ roll his eyes at that? Regardless, he decides to comply because he’s still horny as fuck and it would be really nice if that could be taken care of very, very soon. Like, as soon as possible.

“Move, then,” he says. Just to further convey how much he means it, he bucks his hips up, consequently brushing their dicks together and making Michael gasp from the brief pleasure against the area.

As expected, Michael seems to take the hint.

He wraps his hand around both of their dicks and begins rocking his hips forward, determined to keep up with the pace that Calum sets. There’s something immensely attractive about the way he sticks his tongue out the side of his mouth and stares down into Calum’s eyes, his own half-lidded and filled with nothing but pure lust. Calum feels himself getting hotter underneath that sharp gaze, although it probably also has to do with the growing heat between their moving bodies. Either way, he finds it difficult to pretend that he’s the one in total control here when it feels like those gorgeous irises are staring directly into his soul or something.

Michael suddenly leans down and kisses him roughly, tongue licking into his mouth again and making Calum groan involuntarily. All the while, the steady movements of his hips never falter and it’s already getting to be a little too much, somehow. It’s too much but it’s also perfect, in a way, and Calum seriously wonders why the fuck they hadn’t done this a long time ago or _at least_ experimented in some other way; oh well, they’re doing it together in this moment and that’s all that really matters.

“You taste s-so fucking good, Cal,” Michael whispers against his swollen mouth. The almost brutal manner in which he proceeds to suck on the bottom lip has Calum’s toes curling and the heat in his stomach rapidly rising.

“Wanna taste every inch of you,” Michael goes on to say, as he places a trail of kisses across Calum’s jawline and then down to his slender neck, nipping the soft skin there. “Gonna mark you up, too, so… so that everyone c-can see what I did to you.”

Calum isn’t whimperer, okay. He really isn’t—in fact, he’s hardly classified as being very vocal during sex at all. So, the loud whimpering sound that escapes him when Michael begins talking dirty to him like that is a one-time occurrence. Like, seriously. It’s the first time that that has ever happened and it won’t happen again so _don’t call him a whimperer, goddammit_.

Of course Michael finds it amusing and proceeds to do just that.

“Did you just whimper…? You totally just whimpered.” he says with a breathless chuckle, and he roughly sucks the skin over Calum’s throat to try and elicit that adorable sound again.

“Shut up,” Calum groans, though his words end on a choked cry from the wonderful sensation on his neck. He finds it ridiculous that even while they’re literally grinding their genitals against one another, Michael still takes it upon himself to try and tease him about something as irrelevant as the sounds that he makes.

Wanting to gain back some of the control that he’s obviously lost here, Calum moves his hands from Michael’s hips and reaches around to grip his ass instead, squeezing so tightly that his nails dig into the skin a little. Michael groans so loudly that Calum briefly fears the possibility of someone else hearing them.

“Shhh… they’ll hear you,” he warns, but a smirk spreads on his lips because it’s also revenge for Michael teasing him about the whimpering sound he’d made just a moment ago.

Michael only rolls his eyes, still panting heavily when he replies, “After countless nights of… of being woken up at three o’clock in the morning because of Luke and Ash fucking like rabbits, I’d say that they _deserve_ a taste of their own medicine, and—”

Calum relentlessly squeezes his ass again to shut him up, and it works rather nicely. Michael curses under his breath and leans up a bit so that he can increase the pace of his hips, grinding down against Calum much faster than before. He’s getting close and it’s easy to tell from the way that his movements become jagged and clumsy, the deep moans in the back of his throat growing louder by the second. Calum decides that he doesn’t care if they’re heard anymore.

Because he’s curious to see what kind of reaction he’ll get, Calum slips a finger in between Michael’s cheeks and gently prods at his hole, smiling triumphantly when Michael gasps from the surprise contact and starts to rock back against his finger. Obviously they don’t have any lube right now and there’s no way in hell that they’d stop to get some, so Calum doesn’t attempt to push his entire finger inside. Apparently it’s enough just to circle the entrance with his fingertip, because Michael quickly becomes a mess above him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Michael cries out, “Yeah, j-just like that, don’t stop… ’m so fucking c-close, Calum…”

Calum feels himself getting closer as well, and the sight of Michael gradually losing control on top of him only builds up the pleasure within until it was almost unbearable and he _needs_ to be relieved soon, or he just might go insane. He keeps one hand on Michael’s ass, finger still teasing his hole while the other hand comes back around to join the one pumping their dicks together. Michael is staring intensely down at him again, brows knit together and a small droplet of sweat descends from his forehead, his bottom lip trembling as he nears his imminent orgasm.

The many seconds leading up to that moment are so incredibly _intense_ and Calum is strangely overwhelmed by it all, because he’s never felt this amount of desire and total gratification while getting off with someone before. He doesn’t know why this feeling has amplified drastically now that it’s Michael he’s doing it with, but it feels absolutely amazing and he never wants it to end. It doesn’t last for much longer, though, because as soon as he pushes the very tip of his finger past the first ring of muscles, Michael cries out again and comes on the spot, surprising them both. Calum doesn’t really get a chance to watch the hot spurts of come shooting from his slit since Michael immediately collapses on top of him, his body convulsing and his breath unbearably hot against the sweat-slick skin of Calum’s neck.

Although Calum doesn’t mind Michael lying lifelessly on top of him, he’s still _really_ fucking hard and would very much love to get off, too. Thankfully, Michael seems to recognize that because he finally leans up after a moment, his breathing still ragged but that doesn’t stop him from kissing Calum like he might not ever get the chance to do it again. When he pulls back, there’s a thin string of saliva between their lips and he smiles, determined.

“How about I suck your dick now?”

There are so many variations of the term _fuck yes_ that Calum could reply with, but words are failing him right now and he just wants to come, for god’s sake; so he quickly nods and is filled with both relief and excitement as Michael climbs off of him and repositions himself in between his legs. Michael makes a show of licking his plump lips and he spends a moment just staring at Calum’s hard cock, precome lining the slit and desperately needing to be stimulated again. He brings a hand up to grip the base and even that bit of contact makes Calum gasp—but when it looks as if he will finally take it into his mouth, he pauses to glance up at Calum with a smirk.

“What was it that you were saying earlier? Something about my lips being perfect for this kind of thing?”

“ _Mikey_ ,” Calum whines, and he has every right to do so, okay—now is not the time for more teasing.

Luckily, Michael decides to be merciful and gets back to the task at hand. He leans forward, placing a soft kiss on the head before widening his lips to gradually take it into his mouth. Calum sighs with relief when he feels the wet heat engulf him, and then it’s heaven all over again. Michael seems to know exactly what he wants so he doesn’t waste any time, already bobbing his head diligently.

It’s a struggle but Calum does his best to keep his eyes open, yearning to see what those gorgeous lips look like as they slide up and down his slick cock. He watches as Michael sucks him off, taking him in just a little deeper every time that he goes down. And no, Calum hadn’t been wrong at all—Michael’s mouth was practically _made_ for sucking dick, and it’s very important that the dick in his mouth right now belongs to Calum. Very important.

Calum barely even manages to catch the whimper that somehow escapes him in the middle of his consistent moaning, until Michael glances up at him with those fucking breathtaking eyes of his and smiles around the dick in his mouth. It’s a little embarrassing but, fuck it, Calum can’t think about any of that right now. As a matter of fact, he’s completely lost the ability to think when he feels the head of his cock hit the back of Michael’s throat and Michael doesn’t even flinch, staying like that for a few seconds before pulling back again.

“Fuck, Mikey—just let m-me fuck your mouth,” Calum suggests. He’s already so close again and he knows that he won’t last for much longer, and fucking Michael’s mouth until he comes down his throat seems like a _very_ good idea right now.

Michael pulls off completely but keeps a hand lazily stroking the shaft. “Are you going to say please?” he asks, mimicking what Calum had said to him earlier.

 _Ugh_.

Again with the teasing. Maybe if Calum simply plays along he’ll get what he wants at last.

“Fine,” he says. “ _Please_ let me fuck your goddamn mouth, Michael Clifford. Happy?”

Evidently, Michael is very happy with that answer because he grins like an excited child and leans back down, taking the cock into his mouth again without warning. Calum hisses from the sudden unbearable heat that engulfs him for the second time, but he doesn’t waste another moment and begins bucking his hips, eagerly fucking up into Michael’s mouth.

It really is perfect, now. Calum reaches down and fists a hand in Michael’s lime green hair, holding his head in place. The heat in the pit of his stomach builds up faster than ever and a deep groan sounds in the back of his throat, each second feeling even more torturous than the last as he finally reaches the edge. The hottest part is that Michael just takes it, his throat completely relaxed as he moans around the cock in his mouth and the vibrations from that sends chills throughout Calum’s entire body.

Maybe that’s what does it, in the end—or maybe it’s the realization that he’s _actually_ about to come in his best friend’s mouth—regardless of what really sends him over the edge, Calum finally comes with a sharp cry and revels in the way that Michael eagerly swallows around him. Even when he lets go of the other boy’s hair, Michael doesn’t pull off right away, instead spending a moment just swirling his tongue around the oversensitive cock and making Calum squirm.

Eventually, Calum finds himself cuddling with Michael underneath the covers, eyelids drooping because he’s at least four times as exhausted as he had been at the beginning of the night; but, it’s a good kind of exhaustion so he isn’t complaining. He’d at least like to go into the bathroom and clean himself up a bit, but once Michael is clinging to him he doesn’t let go. So, Calum accepts his fate and falls asleep exactly as he is, not really caring that much because he’s comfy and satisfied and Michael is pressed against him, just like he should be.

***

The next morning, Calum has a dilemma.

Michael is still peacefully sleeping in bed next to him and he looks even cuter than he normally does, with his hair ruffled up and his body tucked into Calum’s side. It’s an unconscious act when Calum brushes a wild strand of hair from his forehead, and he has to mentally remind himself that this… isn’t okay.

Or, at least he doesn’t think that it should be? He and Michael got each other off the night before, and Calum likes to think that he has very good memory, so he knows that his dick was definitely in Michael’s mouth at one point. And, god, had that felt _beyond_ amazing—it wasn’t the first blowjob that Calum had received, not at all; but it was certainly the best one yet.

Shit.

Can’t think about that right now.

He’s supposed to be _scolding_ himself for what they’d done, but honestly, he’s not even worried. That’s why he currently has a dilemma, because he thinks that he _should_ be worried that he had done certain things with his best friend the night before, but he just _isn’t_ worried at all. Not a single goddamn bit. As a matter of fact, he’d do it all over again if he was given the chance. But, if he ever were given the chance, he’d definitely fuck Michael for real this time. Who knows, maybe he’d even consider letting Michael fuck _him_.

A sudden stirring grabs his attention and he glances down at the body next to him, a wave of anxiousness washing over him when Michael blinks up at him with tired eyes. Evidently, he isn’t worried about what they had done or what any of it might mean for them, but he is worried about what Michael will think.

Surprisingly, Michael simply yawns and smiles up at him.

“What time is it?” he asks, voice still very groggy.

Calum shrugs. “Um… not sure, but it’s pretty early, I think.”

Michael hums and blinks a few more times, attempting to keep himself awake since he doesn’t usually get up this early.

“Hungry,” he suddenly moans. “Make me breakfast?”

Calum can’t help but roll his eyes, because Michael totally would worry more about getting food into his empty belly instead of acknowledging the elephant in the room. So typical.

“Make your own damn breakfast,” Calum scoffs. “You have two perfectly functioning hands.”

Michael frowns and reaches up to poke him in his side. “How dare you. I got you off last night, you know.”

The fact that he uttered the latter statement so casually sends a nervous chill down Calum’s spine, but he also feels confused because it doesn’t look like Michael is worried at all. In fact, Michael looks as calm as ever.

So, Calum goes along with it. “I got you off first, though.”

“I let you come in my mouth.”

Calum snorts. “As if you didn’t want my come in your mouth.” He pauses, then. “Unless, like, you’re into facials… _are_ you into facials, Mikey?”

From the way that Michael’s face turns a little red and he doesn’t respond immediately, Calum will take that as a _yes_.

“Wow,” he says, suddenly overcome with laughter. “Just when I think that I know everything there is to know about you, I find out that you’re totally into having come on your face!”

“I’ll punch _you_ in the face!” Michael yells, obviously quite flustered.

They find themselves emerged in some sort of wrestle match/tickle fight about five minutes later, but Calum wins when he has Michael pinned against the mattress below him, and both of them are still desperately trying to catch their breath from the excess laughing that they had done. Calum starts to wonder why he had been worried in the first place, when things basically still feel the same between them. The only difference between now and then is that, as he stares down into Michael’s bright eyes and takes in the pretty smile on his face, there’s a roaring flame in the pit of his stomach that used to be just a dull candlelight. He isn’t completely sure what it means, but he knows it’s there.

“What are we…?” Calum asks in a whisper, because he’d very much like an answer to rid his mind of this confusion.

What they did last night hadn’t felt like two friends satisfying each other’s needs. It wasn’t just sex, either. It was something else, and he knows that Michael has to feel the same way. He just knows it.

Michael tilts his head and his eyes are incredibly soft as he whispers back, “What do you want us to be?”

Calum has to pause because he isn’t sure himself, but he knows that he likes kissing Michael and touching Michael and tasting Michael. He really does love Michael, his best friend of ten years and his partner in crime. They’re bandmates and they’re conquering the music world together, just like they said that they would. He knows that Michael will always be there for him, just like Luke and Ashton will be, too. So, he isn’t really worried about what may or may not happen because his best friends are by his side and they love him just as much as he loves them.

Calum briefly wonders if he and Michael could ever have what Luke and Ashton have together, but he pushes that thought aside because they’re not them. What he and Michael have is completely different and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, so there’s no point in trying to be like anyone else. No one could ever be like them, either, because they’re one of a kind.

“I don’t know, I just… I just want to be your Calum,” he murmurs, though he isn’t totally sure what it means.

Screw it. They can figure it out together.

“You already are my Calum, though,” Michael says, chuckling. “Always have been, always will be.”

Calum nods. “That’s true, but once in a while I get to be someone else’s Calum for the night. So I’m thinking, like, maybe it could just be you from now on? If you want me, that is.”

He still isn’t sure if he’s making any sense whatsoever, but fortunately, Michael appears to understand him. It seems like he does, because his smile widens and he quickly nods.

“Okay—and I can be your Michael, right? I’m your Mikey, aren’t I, Calum?”

His enthusiasm about this whole thing makes Calum feel that much more confident, so he nods again and smiles down at the beautiful boy beneath him.

“Of course you are, you big dork. You’re my Mikey, always have been, always will be.”

This is good for now, he thinks. It’s good because Michael pulls him down into a kiss and he absolutely melts into it, the nervousness slipping away in a single instant because this is how it should be. He feels happy and safe and at _home_ when his lips are pressed to Michael’s, so it’s good and he’s satisfied.

When they finally break apart, Michael is still smiling and he reaches up to playfully poke Calum on the nose.

“I’m still hungry, Cal.”

Well, at least he knows that some things will definitely never change.

Calum sighs, giving in. “Alright, alright. I’ll make you some toast, then.”

***

So Calum ends up making about six slices of toast, three for himself and three for Michael. It’s not the healthiest of breakfast meals, but he couldn’t really do much when Michael was standing behind him the whole time, chin on his shoulder and clingy arms around his waist. It’s a miracle that he hadn’t burned any of the slices, too, since Michael thought it would be fun to kiss his neck and play with the bruise that’s already there. Just to get the job done without any mishaps, Calum gives Michael the task of making tea for them. It works out nicely and they sit next to each other at the table, consuming their ‘breakfast’ when they receive company.

“Mornin’,” Ashton says with a yawn, and he looks especially tired today.

Calum points it out because he knows exactly why. “You look exhausted. Rough night?”

Ashton merely hums at the question, already searching through the fridge for something to make himself—and probably Luke, too, since the younger boy just dragged himself into the kitchen, muttering good morning in his usual sleepy tone of voice.

“Maybe if you two fucked each other’s brains out less, you wouldn’t be so tired,” Michael bluntly states.

Calum nearly chokes on his tea when he laughs, and the flustered look on Luke’s face only makes it worse. Ashton looks annoyed but he effectively ignores the teasing, since he’s used to the two of them taking jabs at his and Luke’s relationship. It can’t be helped, though. They were cute and that made it fun to pick on them.

“Why is our sex life the first thing to be discussed in the morning?” Luke grumbles. “How about we don’t do that. Like, ever.”

“Shut up, Luke,” Michael replies automatically. “The two of you woke me up last night—not that you care—so since you want the world to _hear_ your sex life, then you must want the world to talk about your sex life, too.”

“…Where are you even getting that logic from?” Luke questions, because honestly, that didn’t make too much.

Ashton chuckles as he comes up behind Luke and wraps his arms around his waist, still smiling when he says, “Don’t even try to make sense of that, Lukey. I think Mikey’s just a little jealous—should we apologize for keeping him up all night?”

“You didn’t keep me up all night,” Michael cuts in, and he turns his head to grin at Calum. “I went and slept with Calum.”

In more ways than one. That’s for sure.

Calum grins back at him and returns to finishing the food on his plate.

“Why don’t you just sleep with Calum all the time, then? That way I can always share with Ashton, even when we stay at hotels,” Luke suggests, as if the rooming arrangements weren’t almost exactly like that already.

“Maybe I will,” Michael replies. “Anything is better than listening to my best friends fornicate almost every night.”

Ashton sighs, rolling his eyes. “Okay, now you’re just over exaggerating. We really aren’t that loud, are we?”

“You are,” Calum and Michael answer in unison.

“I bet that you’re pretty loud, too,” Luke says to Michael, but then he quickly shakes his head. “Not that I’d _ever_ want to know what you sound like.”

“And you never will,” Michael retorts with a wink.

Calum stands up a moment later since the toast on his plate has been devoured and he decides that he can’t take the icky feeling on his skin anymore.

“I’m taking a shower,” he announces.

Not even a second later, Michael shouts, “I’m coming with!” He shoves the rest of his toast into his mouth and then proceeds to slurp down a bit of tea from his mug, almost burning his tongue. When he joins Calum by his side, he grins excitedly and interlocks their fingers together, already tugging him towards the bathroom.

Calum doesn’t miss the look of utter confusion and curiosity on Luke’s and Ashton’s faces, and they’re probably thinking something along the lines of, _‘since when the hell do Michael and Calum shower together?’_ Nonetheless, Calum is sure that they’ll figure out soon enough, if Michael doesn’t blabber it to them first.

For now, he squeezes Michael’s hand within his own and comes to the conclusion that he can definitely get used to this.


End file.
